Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Special Report: A Parody Of Nigeria President’s Anti-Corruption Policy



President Goodluck Jonathan
“Quick Guide To Fighting Corruption: A Step By Step Approach”- [Simplified Edition]

[Authors: GEJ, The Presidency; Published By: Transformational Agenda Publications; Distributed By: Breathe Of Fresh Air Communications; Marketed By: Neighbour To Nighbour Wholesales Ltd]

· Vehemently reject public declaration of your assets – ‘you don’t give a damn!
· Protect Subsidy and Crude Oil Thieves
· Indict petty Subsidy thieves; while protecting the ‘majors’ and those aiding and abetting them in government and the MDAs
· Arrest and parade petty crude oil thieves; while protecting their main sponsors
· Set up audit, probe and investigative committees, and promptly proceed to disregard their findings and recommendations
· Uncover 45,000 Ghost workers from assessment of 159,000 workforce; and fail to uncover those collecting the N100bn in annual ghost-salaries
· Award without due process and secrecy coastline, waterways, and pipelines protection multi-billion naira contracts to Ex-Militant Generals in your kitchen cabinet.
· Use armed troops, armed police and surveillance helicopters to disperse Anti-Corruption protesters
·  Arrest and harass Anti-Corruption Protest organisers
·  Reward renowned thieves and treasury looters with choice and juicy board appointments
·  Enter into plea bargain arrangements with convicted treasury looters
·  Pardon notorious Bandits and Pirates convicted of pillaging the treasury

Public Disclaimer/Caveat Emptor:
‘Let us remind the Pardoners and the Pardonees that this and past Generations of Treasury Looters Shall not go Unpunished, as long, and as soon as We TAKE BACK NIGERIA! #DPSR

Disclaimer Issued By – DPSR
Written and Circulated By:
Jaye Gaskia

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